![]() ![]() Or more simply, and seriously, if you just say you watch CSI you’ll have a good chance of being dismissed because you probably believe there needs to be gunshot residue, blood spatter and blue-glowing sperm all on the defendant’s face in order to prove him guilty.Ī friend of mine told me his story of how the defense attorney dismissed him on the spot just because he knew what the definition of the charge against his client was. All you gotta do is say something remotely interesting about yourself – “I vacationed in Venezuela last year” – and they’ll go wait, Venezuela’s in South America… there’s llamas in South America… llama rhymes with Obama… who wants to kill old people with his health care plan… just like the defendant does with his machete, and they’ll kick you out for being a likely killer-sympathizer. It turns out there’s tons of different reasons the judge, the lawyers or the defendant will dismiss you for, so it’s a real piece o’ cake to get out of a trial and you don’t even have to lie. I learned a lot of interesting stuff about the process from watching and listening to everything go down, and from all the folks who emailed or twittered their jury duty stories to me – thanks… ![]() I did get dismissed from jury duty last week after they interviewed me for 30 seconds, but after I’d sat there doing absolutely nothing for 12 hours over 2 days.
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